A Visitor (in my dreams)

Last night I was surprised to have you show up in my dreams again.

I’m not sure why exactly I was surprised, I guess it’s just because you just weren’t invited. But since it was a scene of my humiliation, of course you were there.

After all, it was in a dream that we first started. That time, you were invited. This time, I think you were sorta popping by to say goodbye.

The initial:
Snakes.
A dark cavern underground, sandstone. Four people, and me. You were one of them.
We could either choose one to die or all suffer endlessly, trapped underground within a vault of bare tunnels. It was needless, gratuitous suffering. I chose you.
I chose you because I knew the others couldn’t handle it (being a murderer). But I knew they wouldn’t argue once I had you down on the hard, grainy surface of a sealed tomb and they were surrounding you, helping to hold you down.
I knew you wouldn’t argue either. My breath was sucked out of my body; an impulsive, helpless exodus drawn to meet your soft brown eyes.
My hands cupped your warm throat, tightening with love and fear.
Your veins coiled tight and thrashing (snakes) you implored me:
“Please” (kill you).
So please I please squeezed please
Tighter.

And that’s the first time I sacrificed myself for you.

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