O, Juggler of Worlds!

The concept of leading a “double life” has an infamous connotation. But it is in living a double life that I became exceptional and able to survive.

The hero: Spiderman–high school nerd by day, superhero crime-fighter by night.

The spy: Jason Bourne struggling between his past and present identities–trained killer/superspy, or a man capable of love.

The adulterer:  living a lie where no one place is home.

Leading a double life is complex, deceitful and dangerous. Though the mystery calls to us, nobody can be sure they’d want to adopt such a lifestyle in its entirety….


And yet, leading a double life is
the simplest choice I’ve made.
It’s not as dramatic
As drastically splicing my identity between
Two secret lifestyles.
It’s not deceitful, nor complex. It is
How I love.

I am a desk-sitter and a rock-climber, you see.

Soaring across rock I am
Supporting my body, shifting on a sheer face
Falling, hard, spat back by the wall onto my butt, over and over
I dance the dance of my joy-
Full love of the world.
My secret
My strength
Expressed as an ode to the workings
Of the universe
Expressed as an ode to my worthiness within it.

A humble desk-sitter and rock-climber, I am.

Plan, budget time, work early, work late,
Travel, long stretch of road, music, friends, family, challenge daunting, silence, just me
Cheers, challenge overcome, family, friends, music, long stretch of road, travel.

Return. A smile spreads across my face as I walk down the hallway
Greet familiar faces
They don’t know just what
You were doing, this weekend
You were with
You sang.
They know only
the glimmering mysteries you speak of.

Those who were with me
On the weekend
Don’t know everything
I did
The work (love) I put in
To get me to keep both worlds off the ground.
The thrill of unrelenting challenge.

How I look forward to my alternate dimensions.
O, me, O Juggler of Worlds!
(It’s what keeps me from suffocating)

Photo provided by friend, climber, & up-and-coming photographer Silas RB. Check out his portfolio, “Breathe.”


Leave a comment–love to hear it–or check out HermitCrab on Facebook. Cheers!

3 thoughts on “O, Juggler of Worlds!

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